Despite its' affect on my body clock, I love Florida. I love America - there's not one thing about it that I don't like. It holds some of my dearest memories and is home to some of my dearest friends. The minute I set foot through the swooshing of the automatic doors at the airport I am hit with a smell that I would like to bottle and sniff in moments of dark, dreary weather in merry old England. It smells like chlorine, barbecue and heat all mixed together. I do appreciate that sounds a bit odd but if you've been you will know precisely what I mean.
When I was growing up, I was convinced that all Americans behaved like the kids in the video for 'All Night Long' by Lionel Richie and that every week there was a prom like in Grease. They had romances like in Dirty Dancing and their radios played songs that were meant for cruising up the Pacific Coast Highway. I knew I had to go. So I did.
One day in June 1995 I left and didn't return until far longer after I originally intended to. So, when I visit that general region of the US now and have to come back after just a week or two, I am genuinely gutted because I know what I am missing, some of which, I shall now list:
- The sun
- The beach
- Hearing people say 'erbs instead of 'herbs'
- Superbowl Sunday
- Thanksgiving Pies
- Bath and Body Works
- Drive through ATM machines
- Cheez-its
- Dunkin Donuts
- Taco Bell
- Yes I am listing a lot of food stuffs
- Decent radio stations
- Being able to wear shorts and flip flops from March to November
- Restaurant workers who actually care if you are enjoying the food
- People mocking my accent and asking me if I am Canadian/Australian
- People asking me if I have met the Queen or if I know 'Dave' - he lives near me in England apparently. (He doesn't)
- People calling me 'Miss Amanda' (I believe this may only apply in certain Southern states)
- Really getting into Halloween
- Seeing bands who are massive in the UK in tiny little venues before they're famous in the US
- And finally a one off - giggling at someone asking me if I hurt my fanny when I was drunk once and fell over flat on my arse :)
Oh my, I could go on and on...Mr B and I have set our hearts on buying a holiday home there in a few years. As I sit here, I have a crazy grin on my face at the mere prospect - somewhere we can retire to for months at a time, somewhere our friends can use for cheap holidays and somewhere we can use as a base to go and visit our gorgeous friends who are lucky enough to call America home.
America taught me many things, not least how to handle multiple children at once - I worked there as a nanny. Sidenote - I went to pick up the dad of the kids I cared for one day and made one of the staff in the military building call up for him and say 'Sir, Mary Poppins is here to pick you up'. Hehehehe - I think perhaps you had to be there.
The children I cared for and their parents treated me like their family (cue cheesy piano music) and their kindness and generosity was utterly selfless. They didn't mind when me and my friends made their house our own for the weekend, they gave me air miles as gifts and encouraged me to see the country. They afforded me the possibility to live on a Navy Base, littered with men in uniform and shirtless Marines. (*fans self at the memory*) and I am happy to report that, I believe, they still like me.
I learnt many other things too - Taco Bell will not serve you at their Drive Thru window at 2am if you are not in a car. Even if you are pretending to drive one.
The weather may have been ninety degrees at 2pm and the sand may cause third degree burns on the soles of your feet but the ocean is a bit nippy at dawn.
If you climb into the back seat of a car through the front passenger window, you will be so bruised you will look like you have been fighting.
The weather may have been ninety degrees at 2pm and the sand may cause third degree burns on the soles of your feet but the ocean is a bit nippy at dawn.
If you climb into the back seat of a car through the front passenger window, you will be so bruised you will look like you have been fighting.
You just have to get used to the socks and sandals look
And finally, no matter how much you try and Americanise yourself, there will come a day when you bang your foot on the edge of the bed and blurt out 'sh*t a brick, I've banged my buggering, b*stard toe' and all your northern Englishness will be spotlighted in seconds.
It is with this knowledge that I am armed and ready to make the east coast my second home so I can eat tacos until my eyes bulge, I can tell people to have a great day and not sound sarcastic and I can put the roof down on my car and sing my heart out to 'The Boys of Summer' and not have to have someone hold an umbrella over me and put A&E on alert for someone with frostbite and a frightwig.
Besides, it will be really nice to spend time in a country whose people really care about if I have hurt my fanny.
Besides, it will be really nice to spend time in a country whose people really care about if I have hurt my fanny.
